Monthly Archives: February 2012

Quote of the Day: On Sleeping

“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.”
~ Leo Burke

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What My Daughter Taught Me Today: Stop and Smell the Diapers

Today, after feeding my daughter a bottle, I went to put her down for a nap. But instead of going to sleep like she normally does, today she clung to me like B.O. on a New York City cab driver. Slightly annoyed because I had a deadline quickly approaching and her nap time is the only time I can work, I sighed and sat back down in the chair to rock her. But instead of settling in to sleep, she picked up “Goodnight Moon” and handed it to me… my daughter’s subtle sign language for “read this to me now.” So I read it to her.  Then I set the book down and prepared to put her back in her crib.  But again, she picked up “Goodnight Moon”  and handed it back to me.  Frustrated, I read it again, but quickly this time and skipping pages along the way.  I should know better – Lyla is too smart for these shenanigans. Before I even finished, she flipped the pages back to the front… subtle sign language for “Your laziness is punishable by reading this mind-numbing book over and over until your tongue is drier than a parrot’s.  Read it again, and make it count.”  Then she settled back into my lap to once again discover the surprise ending of Goodnight Moon (spoiler alert:  Goodnight noises everywhere.)

As I was reading the book yet again, and inhaling her perfect baby smell (aka kryptonite for busy moms,) I was suddenly struck by the feeling that this was a moment to remember.  I moment that, someday very soon, I will long for with all my heart.  A moment that I had almost missed in order to get back to the hypnotizing glow of my computer.  I realized that in 30 years I won’t remember the deadline that I was 30 min late for, or the fact that we ate Thai food for a week straight because I didn’t have time to go to the grocery story, or the time that I had to wear my underwear inside out because I didn’t have time to do the laundry… ok, that one I might remember.  But what I will definitely remember is the sweet smell of Lyla’s head, and the feeling of her small body curled in my lap, and the sight of her chubby fingers turning the pages.  Those are the things that I will remember until the day I die.  Oh, and after 1000 readings, I will definitely remember ALL the words to “Goodnight Moon.”

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Random Thought: Diaper spelled backwards…

Diaper spelled backwards is Repaid.  Just a little something to think about. (ps. Sorry mom and dad!)

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Random Thought: On Baby Einstein

Baby Einstein videos are like crack for babies. Totally addicting.  And no matter how many times my daughter has seen them, and even though she knows how it’s going to end,  if it’s on the TV she’s totally engrossed and can’t turn away.  What is the adult equivalent?  Televised car chases?


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Quote of the Day: Evolution

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”

~ Milton Berle

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Lovin’ Right Now: Got milk?

Since my post on breastfeeding got such a big response, and I know that it is something that a lot of women love but also struggle with, I thought I would let you all in on something that really helped get me through.  If you are a wino like me (and I can honestly say that I need my glass of wine more after becoming a mother than I ever did before,) these Milkscreen test strips are a godsend.  You know the rule, “Wait at least two hours for every one drink before breastfeeding.” And usually one drink is sufficient.  But for parties, bbqs, mimosa brunch, or just a random Tues when one just isn’t enough, these genius strips will tell you in three minutes whether your little one is getting bottle or boob.  Dip the strip in your milk or squeeze a couple of drops on it (go for distance and it’s a fun party trick)  and wait a few minutes.  The strip’s color will tell you if your milk is safe.  It’s like a litmus test for wino moms!!  Brilliant.  Go ahead and judge me and my wine if you want, but I think this is a lot more responsible than just guessing (although not as responsible as actually not drinking but I never pretended to be perfect.)

Of course, I don’t have to tell you that getting totally shit-faced and taking care of your baby is NEVER a good idea (babies need to be taken care of by an adult who is not swaying and babbling like a toddler.) And as a general rule, if you feel tipsy at all, then your milk likely also has notes of blackberry, pepper and aged french oak, and shouldn’t be served. But if you don’t feel drunk but are still worried about any lingering alcohol that could harm your baby, these should give you peace of mind.  Cheers!

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