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I’m A Stay-At-Home-Mom and No, I Won’t Shut Up!

Dear Momma who wrote the subtly titled, “Dear Stay-At-Home-Moms, Please Shut Up.“,

So many things crossed my mind when I read this.

So. Many. Things.

First the good:

1) At least you said “Please”.

And now… the rest:

While I agree with the sentiment that EVERYONE should be grateful for their blessings, what I take offense to is the notion that Stay-At-Home-Moms (SAHMs) should “shut their friggin’ pie holes.”  I am a mom who, by choice, quit my full-time job to stay home with my children, but who, also by choice, sometimes sends my kids to daycare so I can do freelance work… not because I have to, but because I WANT to.  I guess you would call me a SAHM, but I don’t know why we need titles. I am a mom.  I love being home with my amazing children. However, I have also been known to complain about said amazing children.  And I’m sorry, Momma, if that gives you a bad rap, but I have never been one to shut my friggin’ pie-hole, and I sure as hell am not going to start now. So here’s my piehole’s worth…

Being a parent is a blessing, but it is also a job. Some would even say it’s a dream job. The pay aint much and the hours are long, but it has a an unimaginable bonus structure. But here’s the deal: Every single person I know – even those with dream jobs – complain from time to time. Long hours, ridiculous clients, tough bosses, annoying coworkers, or even just run-of-the-mill mental or physical exhaustion. No one I know is totally immune to the siren’s call of a good old-fashioned bitch sesh. Do you know why this is? Because hard work is… well… hard. And sometimes bitching just feels good. It’s a God-given right for every person to be able to bitch now and then. Well, I don’t know if God actually gave us that right, but I am pretty sure it is written in the Constitution or the Declaration of Independence or the owner/operator manual or something. Anyway, if complaining isn’t a right, it should be. So, just because a SAHM or SAHD doesn’t get paid in actual dollars or have an actual boss – other than a tyrant toddler – does he or she also forfeit the right to bitch about his or her job? I think not.

Just because a parent complains about their exhausting days or unruly children, doesn’t mean they love their job or their children any less.  It means that they are human. It means that their job is tough sometimes.  It could mean that they need a hand or possibly just an ear. Telling other moms to shut up about their frustrations is just another example of the Mean Mom syndrome that plagues our playgrounds, mommy groups and internet boards. And, with baby blues and postpartum depression running rampant, it’s more than just mean – it’s irresponsible and dangerous.

Momma, I love my children more than I could ever put into words.  I am grateful for every milestone I can witness, every boo-boo I can kiss and dirty butt I can wipe. Ok, I could actually live without the butt-wiping, but still.  I know that there are many parents who wish they could be home with their children, who cannot.  I also know that there are many parents who stay home with their children, who long to go back to work, but cannot. But most of all, I know that whether you work outside the home or inside the home with your children, we parents are all working double time.  There is no break from parenthood. There is no rest. There is no perfect balance. There is only doing the best we can.  And while we go into parenthood knowing this, it doesn’t make it any easier. This journey called parenthood is the most amazing journey life has to offer, but sometimes the road is bumpy. Sometimes it even seems impossible. That’s why we need to help and support one another, not tear each other down, and certainly not shut each other up.

So Momma, the next time a friend knocks at your door with her “greasy hair and caffeine withdrawals”, instead of telling her to “just be content or quit your whining” maybe you could try listening. Maybe you could offer some help, or just some sympathy. Or maybe you could offer up some pie for her friggin’ pie-hole. Pie always makes me feel better.

Just a suggestion.

With respect,

Courtney

shut up

photo credit: LaVladina via photopin cc

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New Amazing Posts Alert!

Hi All,

Check out my new posts on GoodBadSaggy.com!  And while you are there, sign up to follow my blog, Facebook or Twitter.  Please? Pretty Please? With a margarita on top?

xo,

Courtney

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7 Deadly Parenting Sins

Check out my new posts on my blog GoodBadSaggy.com, including today’s post on the 7 Deadly Parenting Sins.  And please sign up there to keep receiving my blog as soon as I will be shutting this site down.  Thank you and cheers to “bad parenting”!

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A Thank You Letter

Check out my new post A Thank You Letter on my new site GoodBadSaggy.com.  If you want to continue to receive my blog, please follow me there. If you do, I will love you forever. Is that too much?

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New Post!

Good Morning!

Check out my new post Who Is Me? at goodbadsaggy.com.  And if you enjoy my blog, please sign up for email updates there.

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Lonely Woman’s Face Eaten By Cats!!!

Hello strangers! I know it’s been a while since we’ve chatted. Some of you have even reached out to see where I’ve been. And while this does make me feel a bit guilty about my lack of blogging action as of late, it also makes me feel good to know that I am missed. At least I know that if I disappeared, I wouldn’t be left alone in my house to rot and have my face eaten by stray cats, until the horrific smell alerted a neighbor. So, for those of you who care, thank you! And for the rest of you, please just make sure to feed your cats and immediately report any strange smells.

The reason I haven’t been posting is not because things have been bad, but instead because they have been really good! I have spent the last two weeks in Colorado, enjoying the snow and making memories with my friends and family. I really wasn’t planning to take a vacation from blogging too, in fact, I had all kinds of things that I wanted to write about. However, I have been enjoying my time here so much that I decided to stop writing about my life for a bit and really focus on living it.

But fear not, oh loyal readers, I have not forsaken thee! 2013 will bring a fresh, reinvigorated blog to help guide you through life with humor and wisdom. (What would you do without me, right?) A good friend has selflessly volunteered to to help me create a brand-new shiny blog for all of you to enjoy, so stay tuned. Have a happy and safe New Years Eve, and I will see you in 2013,

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Thank Yous and Lots of General Awesomeness!

Not to brag… ok, who am I kidding, this is totally bragging… but I have been awarded FOUR different blogging awards.  However, due to circumstances beyond my control… like illnesses, vacations, and – let’s just face it – my own laziness, I have taken a long time to formally recognize most of these.  But make no mistake, it is not because I am not thrilled to have gotten them.  I am honored to have received all of them, not just because it is amazing to me that anyone reads my simple little no-frills blog (although I am working on some frills for you all…more on that to come) but because the nominations came from bloggers who I truly respect.

Awards aside, it is always wonderful to hear from friends, strangers, followers and even some unexpected people how much you enjoy my blog or how a certain post really resonated with you. I  truly relish all of the comments, likes, shares, retweets, and the recounting of your own personal stories and experiences.  At the end of the day, that’s what writing this blog is all about for me:  the connections and the community. Parenting can be an isolating experience sometimes, and this blog is my way of reaching out to all of you – to let you know that you are not alone and to remind myself that I am not alone either.

So keep it coming! If you like or dislike, agree or disagree with something I am writing about, then please tell me. If you know someone who you think might appreciate this blog, then please share it with them.  If I write something that particularly speaks to you, please share it with your own audience.

In the spirit of this amazing blogging community and also partially due to my aforementioned laziness, I have decided to formally recognize the blogging awards I have received by creating an Award of my own.  I am not sure if this is allowed, but this is my blog, hence my world and I make the rules… so by the power vested in me, I now pronounce the importance of a very important award, for better or for worse, and uh for.. ever. I now present:

The Saggy Award for General Awesomeness!

I don’t know who these women are but they are totally Generally Awesome!!

The Saggy Award for General Awesomeness would like to recognize the General Awesomeness of the following blogs:

Mommy On The Go In Holy Toledo Thank you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Up With The Chickens Thank you for the Kreative Blogger Award!

Unfinishedbizness Thank you for the Sunshine Blogger Award!

Structure In An Unstructured Life  Thank you for the Reader Appreciation Award!

Totally check out their Generally Awesome Blogs.  Totally.

These blogs are also Generally Awesome in totally different ways:

Edward Hotspur

Plan B-each

Mommy Man:  Adventures of a Gay Superdad

I Simply Am 

One Thousand Single Days

Talkin’ Shit

The rules for this award are simple.

1)  Accept the fact that you are pretty much the bee’s knees aka Totally Fucking Awesome.

2)  Celebrate your Awesomeness in any manner you deem fit (I personally recommend a bottle of Cabernet and a tub of vanilla frosting but to each her own)

3)  If you are so inclined, share this General Awesomeness with your readers and inform them of some other blogs you that find Awesome.  That’s it.

Congrats to all the Awesome people and thank you everyone for reading.

Love,

Her Saggyness (Courtney)

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The Versatile Blogger Award. Yay!

versatile blogger, blog award, blogging

I was nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award by not just one, but TWO amazing bloggers. Three Descriptors and Mom In Fort Collins. This means so much to me, especially because I respect them and their writing so much!!  Thank you both!  And thanks for everyone who takes the time to read my blog, even though there are no fancy pictures, cartoons, or even a cool logo. (mostly because I don’t know how to do any of those things.)

The rules for accepting this award are as follows:

1. Thank the award-givers and link back to them in your post.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Pass this award along to 15 or 20.(or as many as I can think of…)

4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.

Ok.  Seven Random Facts… this should be easy since I am totally random anyway and thoroughly enjoy talking about myself (hence the blog)

1.  If I could have one Superpower it would be to be able to give anyone instant diarrhea.  Imagine what you could do with that power… you would never have to wait in line, you would never lose an argument and you could pretty much stop a war in its tracks.  Wow.

2.  When I go to bed at night I wear earplugs, an eyemask, a retainer, and sometimes pink pimple medicine.  Unfortunately for my husband, he didn’t realize this until after we moved in together. Heh-heh-heh.(evil laugh)

3.  When I was in first grade I won my first writing contest.  My first published piece (in a book of children’s poems) was a song that went like this:  (sung to the tune of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”)

Blow, blow, blow your nose.

Blow it good and clear.

Get Mr. Cold Germ out of there, and bring him out here.

Epic, right?

4.  The Llama Race is my favorite holiday of the year!  Every July, my family and a bunch of friends from Colorado dress up in costumes and race llamas on a three-plus mile trek through the mountains and across rivers.  

5. My family members are some of my best friends, and my best friends are a part of my family. Fortunately everyone in my life agrees to go along with this!

6.  Every single time I type the world definitley, I spell it wrong.

 7.  I think that being a mom is single-handedly the most exhausting, frustrating, disgusting, frightening and wonderful thing in the world. I think you have to be a parent to understand how that could possibly be true.

All right, now for the nominations.  This is a bit tougher for me.  I don’t get to read as many blogs as I would like (too busy talking about myself and being random)  But when I do get the time, here are a few of my favs:

Some cool blogs written by moms.  They are all different, and each wonderful in its own way:

http://unfinishedbizness.wordpress.com/

http://planbeach.wordpress.com/

http://momonthegoinholytoledo.com/

http://whatsupyournose.wordpress.com/

I am not divorced, nice, or Jewish but I still find this blog profound and very funny.

http://nicejewishguide.wordpress.com/

You may remember these blogs from my ABC Award.  But they are still awesome, and if you haven’t read them… do so now.

http://thejennyblog.com/

http://www.love-fed.com/

It’s nice to read a blog from a dad’s perspective.  Here are a few great daddy blogs:

http://mrmomman.wordpress.com/

http://thestayathomer.com/

An inspiring blog from a lovely lady:
Check out these blogs and spread the love.  And if you have any other great blogs I should check out, please let me know.
Thanks again!!
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